Wonder...

You ever come to the realization that...you love someone? You spent all this time getting to know who they are, or at least who they show you. And then one day, they open another door to themself...and another...and another, and while it's great you still wonder about the door in the past that they refuse to open. That hides their pandora's box, and at some point life (As it always does) gives you a peak into that box behind the door and....this person is tainted. not, destroyed, but askewed from what they portray. You find out that they aren't on the same moral field as you....yet they have part of you. You opened up...you were vulnerable, on purpose.

The spirit is willing, the flesh is weak...and maybe that caused you to love them. It definitely confuses things. So you're fighting with yourself. They say some great things, show more of "themself" but then...they tell you more, and something about it reminds you of a line you've heard somewhere before. From another being....who you never thought they would be similar to. And the more you're around them, the more you love them. And then jealousy comes and....you're...falling? Actually falling? Again? What's wrong with you?!

Everything in you is screaming to stop and the more you try to, the more you want to just open up, the harder it becomes, and the burden gets heavier with every breath, and every step, and every moment you're in their presence....what do you do? Cry...what does it solve? And you're too scared to talk...so what...do you do?

You sit with your thoughts...write poems, sing, stare, give yourself, and pray for God to intervene because you have no clue how to change it.

You ever come to the realization that you're in love with someone after all the heartbreak and headache and stress you've been through, and you know it's a waste of time.....no? Me either...